... I can't actually remember a time without him. He was more active when I was a child - the sisters at the abbey said that when I was brought to them, it was all my poor mother could do to hold on to me with how I struggled and screamed. They could always tell when the demon was out, because my personality changed so utterly. As myself, I was content to sit and draw, or study my letters, or watch the sisters at their duties. The demon screamed and shouted, ran about like a wild thing, defaced the walls and tore at the tapestries...
He was utterly fearless. It took the better part of a year to overcome him and drive him back into the dark places of my mind, to put the dread of God into him so that he could be contained by prayer. How such a powerful demon came to the body of a child, I can only imagine. But though it is a struggle, outbreaks have been rare, ever since.
But even as he was denied the opportunity to wreak havoc with my body, he learned to speak to me. I hear him often, when I cannot block out his voice. It is... wearying. He undermines all that I do, and drives me to doubt. Even now, I do not know... whether my own morality is true, or if it has been influenced by his whispers.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-04-10 09:20 pm (UTC)... I can't actually remember a time without him. He was more active when I was a child - the sisters at the abbey said that when I was brought to them, it was all my poor mother could do to hold on to me with how I struggled and screamed. They could always tell when the demon was out, because my personality changed so utterly. As myself, I was content to sit and draw, or study my letters, or watch the sisters at their duties. The demon screamed and shouted, ran about like a wild thing, defaced the walls and tore at the tapestries...
He was utterly fearless. It took the better part of a year to overcome him and drive him back into the dark places of my mind, to put the dread of God into him so that he could be contained by prayer. How such a powerful demon came to the body of a child, I can only imagine. But though it is a struggle, outbreaks have been rare, ever since.
But even as he was denied the opportunity to wreak havoc with my body, he learned to speak to me. I hear him often, when I cannot block out his voice. It is... wearying. He undermines all that I do, and drives me to doubt. Even now, I do not know... whether my own morality is true, or if it has been influenced by his whispers.